Pink Cocaine Ramblings

Was spreading pink icing on a sugar cookie this morning and for some reason, I was thinking about time travel. I found myself scrolling way back into the data bank to a time that has become full of question marks. I'm thinking it was 10th grade math class. Algebra perhaps? What was the teacher's name?

The teacher was a short man whose hair had left long ago and been replaced with several prominent brow wrinkles. He wore round spectacles and was maybe slightly hunched in his stance and definitely overweight. He would smile only when referring to his big tan sponge, his upgraded chalkboard eraser, as David (as in Copperfield). He'd thank David for helping him out while putting up that pesky quadratic formula.

Our math teacher had some character to him though. He was quirky and though he could be a hard ass, so long as you weren't the intended target, well it was kinda funny. A few years later as a busboy working at a seafood restaurant, I had the pleasure of conversing with my math teacher. He was quite drunk and the restaurant was empty. I don't even remember the conversation in detail, just that it made me laugh. A few years after that, I learned that he had passed away. I like to remember him happily eating and drinking away telling me crazy stories about his real life. Strange to think how your life may be recorded in the minds of others.

But I digress from my time travel thoughts! I recalled one day taking a test. Everyone with their heads down furiously calculating away. So quiet, that if you stopped maybe you could hear an eraser rubbing or a pencil scrawling. Then, one guy has the audacity to raise his hand, with just a slight exhale to get the teacher's attention. His request was to use the bathroom! Surely it would be denied. After 3 seconds of a stare that was either penetrating or completely vacant, the teacher said "go ahead."

After about 10 min, this student came back from the bathroom. Chad was his name. He actually had a hair style more inline with what's popular today. He came back in flipping his bangs to the side in a way that said, " man I got way more serious shit to take care of." Again he let out a slight sigh upon sitting down. Later I was told by a fellow classmate, that his bathroom trip was to snort some coke. Who knows. Trying to picture a 10th grader snorting coke in the bathroom now? That just seems insane.

At this point, I am half way through my test. You're prolly thinking well you're way too busy watching people go to the bathroom, but in fact, I feel like I'm breezing through this test with ease. It's at this point, that my friend sitting about 4 seats in front of me slams his pencil down. He might as well have yelled out "done bitches!" at the same time. He turns in his paper and receives a questionable stare from the teacher that again is unknowable as to whether it was respect or pure boredom.

After class I interrogated my friend as to how he could've finished so fast. He had no explanation. I said to him, "I think you time traveled dude." He thought about it for a couple of seconds and then pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows to say, "maybe you're right!" And that was the end of it. I'm pretty sure he's been keeping this secret for years. Well played sir..well played.