Flying Barbara

I crossed the line this morning making my home fries and sausage. I upped the amount of habanero placed into the mix. By the end of my meal, I was really sweating and my stomach felt messed up. I had to drown that with some of Asa's Frosted Toast Crunch cereal. Maaan! That cereal is pretty good. The evil sugary death that it is....

I ate 4 bowls of chili tonight at the school PTO chilli cook off. The last bowl I ate had a bunch of green peppers in it. It was not was I had envisioned. Pffft I ate it anyway though.

When I was into watches, there was a website that was a deal a day type site. I'm not sure what it is with watches, but theres a lot of deal of the day sites. Some of them have these descriptions that are really crazy stories which suddenly pull the watch into the story somehow. The writing cracks me up as it is random and often makes trendy references like "oh that's the same watch Colonel Tighe had isn't it".

Here's one I came across today that amused me. It's for a Pyle Sports Skiing Watch.

Barbara woke up and found that she could fly.
The discovery came not even a full second after she woke up. Barb was in the middle of a nightmare involving villainous ice cream trucks taunting her with the voice of Samuel L. Jackson, saying things like, “You want some ice cream? Too bad,” and, “Today....ain't yo day.” The trucks then proceeded to chase her down in the park before Barb eventually had to jump off a cliff to get away from them.

This last move actually propelled her body out of her bed and to the floor. However, just before she reached the floor, she began to hover and never hit the ground. Barb splashed some water on her face and checked everything she could to verify that she wasn't still dreaming. She proceeded to practice her new skill and managed to get complete control over it within an hour. The only shortcoming, if you could even call it that, was the Barb could only seem to fly a maximum of a foot off the ground.

Excited, she set off for the book store, hovering a foot above the sidewalk the entire way. People stared and reacted differently to the sight. Many were afraid, thinking that Barb was some kind of monster or spirit or hallucination. She found that she could also lay down while flying so she was hovering while completely horizontal as well.

Upon entering the book store, every eye was on her. They weren't sure what was happening, but it seemed odd that this person was shopping for books and asking for recommendations. Some awkwardly shuffled out of the store while others kept throwing glances her way while they continued to shop.

“Excuse me,” Barb asked an employee, “do you have the novelization of Mean Girls?”

“Ummm-” he began before Barb cut her off.

“Ooh, that is the nicest looking watch? What is that?”

“Oh, this? This is the Pyle Ski Master V Professional Ski Watch.”

“It looks great!”

“I know!”

“Great!”

“Yes.”