Poop Buffet

I walked past a woman around my age or younger walking her dog while walking mine. We waved at each other, the cursory 'sup fellow dog person' wave. As she passed I could hear her talking on the phone. She said, "I just don't know what to do! It's like I came back into town and he just keeps texting me, saying that I belong to him!" Yikes! Then she yelled at her dog..guess what his name was. Iverson! Now that's pretty unique.

I ran today. wow! It's been two weeks since my last run. Two weeks! I didn't even take that long off for my groin strain last year. Ughhh It's been two weeks since I got full on sick and I still have a spasmic cough here and there. Bloody colds! My run was slow and tiring too, but I kinda expected that.

Took my daughter to the base exchange today. Was having a pizza craving and thought, I'll just nab a slice at the food court and Asa can have a Popeyes biscuit. Last time we ate there, we had just sat down with all of our food, and Asa tells me that she has to poop. Ughh I tell her you've got to hold it child. So walking in today, I remind her that now is the time for the potty. She declares she's good!

I get a biscuit for her and a drink cup and as I'm paying for it, she says "Daddy I have to poop with this worried look." Sigh..off to the bathroom we go. She tells me on the way she just has to pee. Anyway, in the stall,...oh and btw..this post is going to get gross for some of you. In the stall, the autoflush is being rather aggressive which scares my girl. So I walk to the rear and block the sensor with my hand. I tell my daughter to make sure she sits ALL the way on the potty. I thought she was going to pee. So she poops this big glob of pea green kryptonite. I'm like just focus on wiping so I can flush this wretched smell. We wash hands and were done. All I want to do is eat some pizza, I'm starving!

Not 10 steps out of the bathroom and she says, "uh oh". She holds her hands up and somehow she has poop on both hands. Back to the bathroom we go. Once inside, I notice she has poop all over her sleeve around her wrist. I pick her up since the sink is kinda high, that way she can wash real good, but she's just moving poop around. I put her down, and I get some towels to wet them and soak off the poo sleeve when I notice that down her whole back of the forearm on the other sleeve is covered in poo. WTF! I stop to contemplate the situation and realize that the whole left front of my tshirt is covered in poo. AAAHHHH!! How the hell is it multiplying! I picture picking her up, and then I spy her whole bottom covered in poo. Ahhhhhhh! We're covered in stank green pea poo.

I'm kinda pissed at this point, but we have to leave. I strip her down to her undies in the car and I take my shirt off, so I just have on jeans. When I get home, of course the neighbors are outside and first they see me get out. I wave like yah it's all good. Then Asa runs out naked screaming I'm cooold! I'm cooold! I could see the look on the faces like "wth?!" I just made a face that said , ya know how it is.

My pizza quest continued later and was thwarted by Godfather's deciding today was renovation day. So I ended up at BC Pizza Buffet which was just ok. At that point I really didn't care.

Oh and I'm typing on my desktop pc. It hasn't run since June of last year. Is that not just bonkers?!

Finished Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy. While I found much of it clever and some of it lough out loud funny, I was kinda like "that's it?" at the end of the book. Maybe my expectations were too high for a novel given so much praise. Maybe I'm too much of a fuddy duddy these days. It really doesn't matter though. It was a fun read, and now I'm that much richer in pop culture.

Oh and I forgot to mention. Again, a crime of not bringing my camera with me. Maybe I should get a better cellphone. But anyway, the license plate on this car at the BX!! It was creepy and funny. You've seen pictures of cherubs laying down all cute looking right? Well this plate had a pic of a cherub, but the wings and head were of a child and the legs and butt were built long and muscular like a man with massively round buttocks. It was atrocycal! Thats a horrible word combo isn't it. It was a cherub fail for sure.